Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. – Bart Simpson

The main reason Santa Is so Jolly Is Because he know where all the bad Girls live. – George Carlin

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, In his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. – Dave Barry

It’s ok they will just think Santa ate them.

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties Is looking for a job the next day. – Phyllis Diller

It’s all fun and games til Santa Checks the naught list.

Merry Christmas. Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing In a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call It, delicatessen. – Sean Hughes

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.