No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. – Emma Bombeck.

The main reason Santa Is so jolly Is because he knows where all the bad girls Live.

Christmas Is a baby shower that went totally overload. – Andy Borowitz

Your smile Is contagious, please pass It to us and we all have a Christmas.

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tail. – Larry Wild.

The main reason Santa Is so jolly Is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Dear Santa, when you get here, could you please throw a quick load In the washer, vacuum the carpets and wash your cookie plate? Thanks.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, last luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. –Maya Angelou.