Happy Birthday, you know In dogs years you’d already be dead.

Once upon a time, a girl named September grew very tired indeed of her parents’ house, where she washed the same pink-and-yellow teacups and matching gravy boats every day, slept on the same embroidered pillow, and played with the same small and amiable dog. Because she had been born in May, and because she had a mole on her left cheek, and because her feet were very large and ungainly, the Green Wind took pity on her and flew to her window one evening just after her twelfth birthday. – Catherynne M. Valente

This birthday card is from me The dog I know what you’re thinking… “Where’d the dog get money card shopping “How d the dog get to the card store?” “How’d the dog even manage to put a card Into an envelope?”

Yeah yeah, happy birthday. Now gimme some cake before I chew holes In your socks.