Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?” – Melanie White

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. – Bill Vaughan

On New Years, just remember: if your cup runneth over, you’ve probably reached your limit. – Melanie White

Women get a little more excited about New Years Eve than men do. It’s like an excuse: you drink too much, you make a lot of promises you’re not going to keep; the next morning as soon as you wake up you start breaking them. For men, we just call that a date. – Jay Leno

What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking.

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops? Justin Bieber gets jealous

What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? He got 12 months!

My New Year’s resolution is to eat better, so from now on, I’m going to only date guys who can afford to take me somewhere other than McDonalds. – Melanie White

If you make a New Year’s resolution to eat a healthy diet, and you keep it, you won’t actually live longer, but it will seem longer. – Greg Tamblyn

Every New Years I celebrate making it through another holiday season without killing my relatives.
– Melanie White

My new year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to Auld Lang Syne.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.