The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.

Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.

By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.

At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.

50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.

Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.

I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent. – Wendy Cope

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. – Bob Hope

Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen. – Janet Periat

After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.” – Henry Green