Every man who turns 50 experiences two crazy phenomenon. They are called a mid-life crisis and gravity.

Remember this! You will never be happy about your 50th birthday until you turn 60 and realize that 50 was the good ole days!

Cheer up! Today is your 50th birthday which means your are only five years away from qualifying for the senior’s discount at Denny’s.

The good news is that turning 50 means you are no longer getting older. You have officially arrived. Your are now old.

Do you want to know just how old 50 really is? If you start counting birthdays backwards on your next birthday, you won’t reach infancy until you have lived a 100 hundred years. Hmmm. Happy 50th Birthday.

I wonder if 50 is the place in life where gaining knowledge ends and senility begins. Happy 50th Birthday.

The truly great thing about turning 50 is…hmmm…well…let’s see…Let me get back to you on that.

Now that your turning 50, you can look forward to hearing aids, dentures, spectacles, canes, electric wheelchairs, botox, pacemakers, hair coloring and Viagra. Thank God for modern technology. Happy 50th Birthday.